Reclaiming My Heart
by Lovelybutterfly17
Summary: Amy breaks up with Ben before she leaves and claims she no longer loves him. She tries to make a life with Ricky. Five years past and she decided its time to come home. What will happen? Will she see Ben again? Does she fall in love with Ricky? Read to fi
1. Chapter 1

**Hey there well this is my first story of Amy and Ben. I hope you enjoy.**

**While I wrote this story I was listening to Goodbye My Lover.**

**Summary: Amy breaks up with Ben before she leaves and claims she no longer loves him. She tries to make a life with Ricky. Five years past and she decided its time to come home. What will happen? Will she see Ben again? Does she fall in love with Ricky? Read to find out )**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own any of these characters.**

**Saying Goodbye Is Never Easy**

"Ben I need to tell you something" I said not sure if I could ever find the words and have the courage to even speak those words out loud.

We were sitting in my kitchen table. We were alone because my mom and sister knew what was planning on doing and they supported my decision by going to see a movie. We both sat down. He moved his chair so it could face me and placed both of his hands on mine in my lap. I looked down to see our hands intertwined. I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes. As soon as I knew I could break down I slowly moved my hands away. I could see it now: Hurt and Confusion taking over of his face.

"Amy what is it?" he asked as his eyes searched for mine but I had to look away.

"I don't know how to say this" I was able to say this without breaking down.

"It's ok…I'm here….tell me" He waited patiently till I began to speck again.

"Umm well I wanted to tell…that um Rick-…Ricky wants to be a part of the baby's life" while still having control of tears I continued to explain. "And um I agreed to it" I locked my hands together and looked down at my lap. Why was I doing this? I knew why because it was what's best for the baby,

"Well uhhh yeah that's great but I don't think that's necessary I told you I could be-"

Before he could even finish I knew what he was going to say and I won't let him do that. I quickly looked at him and I was angry.

"NO! Ben you can't...I….I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE!" I was surprised that I was capable of yelling at the one person who loved me for me, who would do anything to protect me. But I didn't deserve him. I closed my eyes knowing his reaction.

He took a deep breath I knew this was killing him like it was killing me.

"I understand….ok Ricky can be the father…that's fine…that's not a problem Amy I love you and that's all that matters to me" He went closer to me and his hand on my cheek.

I placed one of my hands over it and gently moved it. I didn't look at him. I couldn't.

"You don't get it do you?" I looked up to meet his eyes. He was serious. I bit my lip and shook my heard.

"Get what?" he pleaded. "Amy what are you trying to say?" he looked at me like if my answer could save him for some reason. He loved I knew that but I couldn't ruin his life.

"Ben it's…its over" I said as I slowly shook my head and dropped my head to my hands.

I could see it now. I had crushed the heart that was given to me without a doubt that I would reject it.

"No…Amy you can't mean that" he said almost as if he wanted to cry.

I still had my head in my hands. I didn't want him to see me crying. My silence might have been too much. I felt his warm touch on my palms and one of his hands shaped my chin and placed it up to look me in the eye. I looked away from me.

"I know you Amy…you don't mean it….if you did then you wouldn't be crying" he said as he wiped away a tear coming down and looked straight in the eye. "Please tell me…why you would want this to end?" he pleaded

I stood up in front of him. I needed this to sound true. As much as it hurt me to say I knew I had to. I crossed my arms and took a very serious and firm tone.

"I don't love you…anymore" I was surprised on how calmly it sounded. When I finished saying it I know it took him a while to comprehend what I was saying but when he finally understood he stood up too and placed both hands on both sides of my face.

"You don't mean that"

"Yes I do" I immediately responded pulling back.

We stood there for a couple minutes just understanding what just had happened.

He looked up at me and nodded. "I love you and all I want is to make you happy and if this what you want then it's fine" his voice cracked and on the first three letters. I nodded. He walked over to me and placed a kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes and a single tear came out. I wanted to stop time at this moment, to make this moment last forever. I wanted him and me more than anything else in the world but in this lifetime it was impossible. I walked him to the door. He opened it slowly and turned around possibly the last time I would see his face.

"Goodbye Amy" He softly said.

I stood there like the coward I was. I was frozen I couldn't even say goodbye. I just avoided eye contact. I waited to hear the door close and it did. I looked up as soon as I heard a CLICK. All I saw was our white door. I've never felt so incomplete. I hugged myself and started sobbing. I knew it would hurt. To say goodbye to someone you love is unbearable.

I sobbed until I reached my bedroom I closed the door behind me and slowly sat down having my back toward the door. The tears were uncontrollable. How was I supposed to bear this? I crawled to me bed still crying and laid on my side and let the tears wet my pillow. My mind was a blur but I could still see his face. Questions covered my mind but there was a question that stood out from the rest:

_Will I ever see him again?_

**I really enjoyed writing this. So I hope you guys liked reading it. I'm really excited about this story because I actually know where I want it to go ha-ha. Please review and tell me what you thought.**


	2. The Aftermath of the Incident

My eyes were so dry that it was difficult waking up

**Hey Guys well sorry it took so long. Homework is a drag but luckily I did it. This is chapter 2 and I hope you guys enjoy it. Thank you guys for your reviews I meant a lot. So enjoy the chapter and tell me what you think )**

**Song I listened to while writing this was: Tomorrow by Avril Lavigne**

**The Aftermath of the Incident**

My eyes were so dry that it was difficult opening them. I rubbed them a couple times before I could open them fully. The sun was out and I looked over to my nightstand where my digital clock was at 7:40 I read. So I had survived the night. I sat up on my bed and took everything in. It actually happened. I actually broke up with Ben, and somehow convinced him that I didn't love him. But before I could have thought about anything else I heard noise downstairs. It must have been my mom. She was alone and Ashley must be at school. If I was every going to tell my mom what happened last night now would be the perfect time. We were alone and Ashley wouldn't be able to draw out her negative comments. I stood up, put my rob on while noticing how much my bump had grown. I signed and gently rubbed before walking out of my room and heading downstairs. I walked quietly but loud enough to let her know I was coming. I walked straight over to the table without looking at her.

"Hey honey how are you feeling?" she asked in a worried tone while sitting down across from me with her coffee

I brushed my hair to the side with my left hand before placing it under my chin where I rested it.

"I think horrible can cover what I'm feeling"

"Oh honey so you actually went through with it?"

I signed "Yeah"

"How did he take it?"

I dropped my hand from my chin and placed both hands on my lap. I shook my head and my lip.

"He was crushed of course…he didn't deserve it….but I didn't want to do it"

"I know sweetie…but honey why did you do it?" she asked not understanding my point or choice.

I responded almost immediately. "I had to mom…Ben is a great guy but he's fifthteen .He has his whole life in front of him…and for me to ask him to give it up to be with me….to tie him down with this responsibility" I said as I touched my stomach and began to cry "it's not fair" my voice cracked and now I was talking through sobs "he'll find someone…he will and he'll forget about me" as I spoke those last few words I felt like I was trying to convince myself more then my mom. I had to believe…no I needed to believe that he would find someone.

I starred out to the window while whapping the tears from my cheek and tried to picture myself being without Ben. I suddenly felt arms wrapped around. My mom knew how much I was hurting so she knew all I wanted was her comfort. I locked my arms around tightly like I needed her to not let go. I buried my face on her shoulder and sobbed. As I was there I felt her rub my back. After a minute or two passed by I slowly loosened up my arms and pulled away. Se gently placed both her hands on both sides of my face and brushed away my tears.

"It's ok honey…its over so go up stairs and get ready to go to Mimsy" she said

"Kay" was all I could possibly say before I had I headed upstairs.

It was over, there was nothing stopping me from leaving. The only person in the world that could've stopped me wasn't even part of my life anymore. But I had no life for myself. I was pregnant and my life was the child that was growing inside. For the baby's sake and mine I had to leave.

Maybe _**forever.**_

**Hey guys well I hope you liked this Chapter. This Chapter was a lil harder to do because I kept crying so it was hard to finish but I'm happy on the way it turned out. Please no hate reviews remember this is my story and I'm happy on what I post. Anyways I'll try to update A.S.A.P depending how many reviews I get.**


	3. It all ended

**Hey guys well here's a short chapter showing how much it hurt Ben the night Any broke up with him.**

**It all ended**

It was over. Just like that. I opened the door slowly so my dad wouldn't have to see his grown up son crying. I turned to close the door and the lights turn on.

"Hey Ben what's going on? How's Amy?" I had my back towards him and I wanted it to stay that way.

"uhh nothing dad….everything's fine…Amy's fine" I sniffed at almost every word and my voice cracked when I said her name. It was silent. He didn't answer. At that point I knew I didn't have to say anything else. So I slowly turned around. I must have looked worse then I thought because of my dads reaction. He didn't hesitate. He rushed at me and hugged me.

He hugged me tight that I let myself cry even more. "It's ok son"

I had to say something. "I love her dad"

"I know son…I know"

I pulled away. "Imma go to bed". He just nodded. I didn't even realize I had laid down. I turn over my side and saw a picture of her in a nice silver frame I had bought standing on my nightstand. I wanted her face to be that first and last thing I would see. I carefully picked it up and just stared at it. I wanted this pain to go away. But I knew it was far from fading.

I actually cried seeing the picture. But I didn't care. I loved her and I was ready to start my life with her, and her baby. I had a vision once, of me and Amy in a beautiful park, probably around our 20. We were walking and suddenly a little girl with the smile just like her mother in the picture. I laughed as she jumped to my arms and Amy would laugh too. I looked over at Amy looking into her eyes I knew that that's the life I wanted. But tonight…the vision was suddenly crashed by reality that she didn't love me Or so she said. I placed the picture back in its place but this time I faced it down. I looked toward the ceiling just letting the pain wash over me.

I closed my eyes. And just thought of one thing.

_I'll always love you Amy Juergens _

**I hoped you guys liked it. I wanted to show you guys how he felt. Tell me what you think about it.**


	4. I need your help

**Hey guys! Well its been a while an I've missed my stories, especially this one ********. I have the next chapter ready to go. I just need your guys help to answer these two questions:**

What's Ben's mother's name?

What's the setting (location) of the show?

**ok guys please hurry and answer. As soon as I get this answers I'll post the next chapter.**

Here's a treat 

**Preview!! Of chapter 3**

_He stood straight and walked over to my bed where he sat. "Amy I want ask you something?"_

"_What?" I asked. He looked really nervous. _

_He looked at me and held my gaze. "Amy when you graduate I want you and the baby to live with me"_

_My eyes grew. Live with Ricky. It sounded like the right thing to do but there was so many questions unanswered. "Ricky I can't…Where would we live? How…what are you talking------?" I started to panic and get up from my bed. He placed both hands on my shoulder. "Hang on you'll wake the baby…look let me explain" he chuckled_

"_I got a job selling cars and I'm actually good at it and the pay is really good. I can save up and we can get an apartment. But there's one more thing I want to ask" He explained. He took my hand and placed it between his hand and looked me straight in eye "Amy will you marry me?"_


	5. How can the heart forget?

**Hey well I'm really excited about this chapter because its really long and I got really into it. I hope you guys enjoy it :) **

**And I would also like to thank ****Bertolli**** and ****Roxxi May**** because if it wasn't for them. This story wouldn't have been updated. So enjoy and if you have any questions just message or review and I'll answer them.**

**How can the heart forget?**

It's been almost 5 years since I've seen Ben. Two days after that night when my eyes were dry enough and I gained the strength to leave my room. I moved out and started living with Mismy. Meanwhile at school rumors surfaced that I had dumped Ben for Ricky. I never answered those rumors but maybe the fact that Ricky was everywhere with me might have helped make that rumor true. While living with Mismy her condition continued and soon she left to live in an elderly home and I moved back home but I didn't leave it for a moment well unless I had a doctors appointment then I would leave the house. Instead my mom homeschooled me until I graduated. Weeks past and in those weeks Ricky didn't leave my sight. Whenever there was a doctor's appointment or something that included the baby he was there. He even offered to make the plans for the baby shower. But thankfully I talked him out of it. Then one day on October 4, 2008 I felt a sudden pain in my stomach and my water broke. The next thing I knew I was in the hospital and I heard a baby cry and the pain was gone.

_I laid my head deeply on the pillow trying to control my breath._

"_Wha…what is it" I urged. I looked over to my mother who was smiling/crying over me, holding my hand, and with her other brushing my hair back._

"_Its okay sweetie…there just cleaning the baby" she said. I don't think I've ever seen my mom so happy._

_Then the nurse walked over to me and placed this small angel in my arms. She smiled at me and said "Congratulations it's a girl!"_

_I started crying as I looked at my daughters beautiful hazel eyes for the first time._

"_Hi beautiful" I said softly and laughed "I'm your mommy" I kissed her gently on her forehead._

_I looked over to my mom who was sobbing and smiling as much as I was._

"_Oh my god mom…she's perfect" I said _

"_Honey let me hold her" I handed my baby over to my mom. My mom kissed her cheek and started to rock her until she fell asleep. "Your right Amy…she's perfect" she laughed gently so it wouldn't wake the baby. "What are you going to name her?" she whispered to me. I then looked to the child my mother was holding and for some reason I only saw Bens face. "Sarah…Sarah Ann Underwood" It was perfect a reminder of the person I had loved and still love. And of course my mothers name but she wa aware that if the baby were a girl she would have her name._

_She walked around my bed and over to the crib next to me and placed Sarah in it and sat on my bed. "Underwood?"_

"_Yeah Ricky wanted the baby to have his last name" I said_

"_Ricky really is stepping it up isn't he?" I nodded _

"_So where's everyone at?" I asked_

_I quickly heard the door swing. "Amy?" I looked to see the person who was the most excited of this day more then anyone come in with a handful of white roses._

_My mom and I quickly placed our index finger on our mouth. "The baby's asleep Ricky"_

"_Aw man I missed it" I smiled and nodded. "Damn I went to the store to get these" he said as he raised the flowers to show me. He smirked "I thought I would make it" he looked over to my mom "Hi Mrs. Juergens". She smiled and got up._

"_I'll go see where your father and Ashley are at" She walked and hugged Ricky "Congrates" then quickly opened the door and walked out closing the door behind her._

_He smiled and walked over to the crib, placing the flowers on my bed. "It's a girl" I said as he looked down to her. But he didn't seem to have her heard. He just kept staring at her, like he was mesmerized. He gently kissed her forehead. Without looking away he said "Thank you Amy…you just made my life worth living"_

_I just smiled and kept staring at the way he stared at her. Then he looked at me "What's her name?" he asked. "Sarah Ann Underwood" I answered._

"_Sarah" he repeated and looked at her once more. "I like it" he smiled, I never seen him smile so big._

_He stood straight and walked over to my bed where he sat. "Amy I want ask you something?"_

"_What?" I asked. He looked really nervous. _

_He looked at me and held my gaze. "Amy when you graduate I want you and the baby to live with me"_

_My eyes grew. Live with Ricky. It sounded like the right thing to do but there was so many questions unanswered. "Ricky I can't…Where would we live? How…what are you talking------?" I started to panic and get up from my bed. He placed both hands on my shoulder. "Hang on you'll wake the baby…look let me explain" he chuckled_

"_I got a job selling cars and I'm actually good at it and the pay is really good. I can save up and we can get an apartment. But there's one more thing I want to ask" He explained. He took my hand and placed it between his hand and looked me straight in eye "Amy will you marry me?"_

_It was a lot to take in at one time. Marry?! I was barely a mother for an hour and now I'm asked to be a wife! "Look Amy you have plenty of time to think about it ok." He said almost immediately. He looked over at the clock across the room. 5:27 "Crap…I have work at 6:00. I have to head home and put my suit on." He said I was a robot nodding my head. "I'll come back tomorrow morning. You staying overnight right?"_

_I shook my head. "Yeah"_

"_Yeah ok I'll you tomorrow then" I gently smiled. He bended down and kissed my cheek and smiled at me. He walked over to Sarah and kissed her forehead. He left the room leaving my head spinning._

_Ricky asked me to marry him. He was serious to. I knew he got job and he had told me it was to help out with the baby. I thought he was talking just clothes not an apartment! But he's right I do have time to think. But the thing was it wasn't just my life to decide I was my daughter and it common sense for the both parents to be with the child. I wanted my baby to be happy and if that meant moving with Ricky and marring him then I would. "Fine I'll be with Ricky" I whispered to my daughter._

That was a very unexpected day for both me and the baby. But looking back and remembering it was the right thing. So that's what I did after graduating high school me, Ricky, and baby Sarah moved to Los Angeles because Ricky had gotten promoted to manager and his own store. So we moved to Los Angeles, and Ricky wasn't joking when he said he would save money. He actually saved and earned enough to buy a house. We really were becoming a family. My parents grew to like Ricky and you could say I grew to care for him more than I thought I would ever care. That next day when I was left alone and visiting hours were over. My mom had picked up the baby and I was left to pack my things.

_Knock knock_

"_Come in" I answered. The same nursed that had taken care of me since I've been here. She came in with a vase of flowers. "Hello dear these just came in from a very handsome gentlemen." I smiled as she placed it on the table in front of my bed. "Ricky?" I asked with a smile. "Oh no, it wasn't the father, I actually never seen him come before" I was confused who could it be? There a note on it. She said as she reached on the vase grabbing a little envelope that was placed on it. As I walked and took it from her hands I asked "What did he say?"_

"_Well…"She said thinking out loud. "he came in looked really nervous too. Asked for your room number told him it, then he asked if you were alone and I said that the father and parents were there. Then he got kinda sad and asked if I could personally come when you were alone and give you the flowers" she explained. "Well I better go…good luck with your baby" she said as she headed out_

_I looked down to the envelope and it had no name on it. I turned it around and opened the little note curious who was from. My heart sunk and sat down at my bed as I read the note._

_To My Amy,_

_I wanted to congratulate you and Ricky. I hope you like flowers I heard you had a baby girl. If she looks anything like her mother then she's perfect. I'm happy for you Amy, I really am. I just want you to be happy and if you are then I'm happy for you. You deserve to be loved by someone who has you best interests at heart. I love you Amy Juergens and I have you best interests at heart. And I know that means letting you go even if that means letting go of the only thing in my life that makes sense because you want a family and having that baby's father near you is the right thing to do. Just know that I think about you every moment in the day. I wish you the best and I'm here for you whenever you need me._

_Love you always,_

_Ben_

_The words had gotten blurry as I finished reading it. I sobbed reading it over and over again. Hearing his voice in my head I could almost see him writing the letter. I felt that the tears wouldn't stop. I wipe my cheeks but it was no use they would just get wet again._

"_Amy…what's wrong?" I looked up to see Ricky at the door. I quickly wiped my face and smiled and stood up tucking the note in my pocket. "Nothing I'm just happy to be going home with Sarah there"_

_He walked and took my bag from my bed. "Let's get you home to our daughter then"_

_We used the kitchen door because everyone was asleep including Sarah. Ricky placed the vase of flowers and my bag on the table. "I should go my foster parents might get worried"_

"_Thanks for bringing me home" I said and I meant it. "Anytime" he walked closer to me and brushed back my hair and placed behind my ear and gently placed his hand on my cheek. I could have said no and said I was tired. But the only thing I should do was move on. So I closed my eyes and let our lips met. He grabbed my two arms from my sides and placed them around his neck where I held them there. The kiss was soft and sweet. He pulled back and said "Anytime". I stood there until he left. I went to my room where they placed the crib at. I laid on my side and reached in my pocket for the note. I placed under my pillow where I laid and cried all night._

That was the last time I ever heard from Ben. And I'll never forget that letter he wrote me. Luckily I still have it and I always will. So here I am in my room looking through my window, watching my daughter play with the neighborhood kids. I haven't been home for about 3 years. I graduated but I got home school since I wanted to be home with my daughter. And lately I've been homesick.

"Amy?" I turned around but I knew the voice.

"In here Ricky" I called out. Ricky really turned out to be a wonderful father and he's not that same guy people knew as "tricky Ricky". He deserved to be loved by me. But you can't convince the heart to love someone when it already chosen someone else.

He opened the door as I called out to him. I was so deep in thought that I probably looked upset. "Amy what's wrong?" he asked with a confused look. Imagining how my expression was I blushed.

I giggled and lightly shook my head. "Nothing"

He let out a little laugh. "Come on tell me". We just stared at each other then he just chuckled. "You're blushing". I crossed my arms and quickly answered "No I'm not". He walked towards me. And put his hand on my chin. "Its ok I love it when you blush" he said softly. I smiled and closed my eyes as his hand moved to stroke my cheek. My life was perfect; I had a beautiful daughter who I adored, and boyfriend who loved me and took care of both me and my daughter. So why wasn't I completely happy? What kind of question it that? I knew why, because this life was something I dreamt about but Ricky wasn't the guy I had dreamed it with. I signed just thinking about it. That caused Ricky to drop his hand and I immediately opened my eyes.

"Amy that's it, I've had it" he threw up his arms and then crossed the on his chest.

"What are you talking about?" But I already knew. This wasn't the first time we've had this discussion. Actually this argument was happening a lot lately between us. My tone sounded irritated because that's exactly how I felt about the subject.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, its like this every time I touch or kiss you, its like your no even seeing me, like you see someone else"

I chuckled. "That's ridiculous"

"Is it?" he asked. We stared at each others eyes. He wasn't going to let this go. I kept eye contact knowing that if I looked away he would look right through me. "Yes" I said. It actually sounded so convincing that I almost believe my answer myself. He studied then relaxed his tense shoulders and dropped his arms and tucked them in his pockets.

"Then what's wrong?" he signed "You look upset"

"Ricky really it's nothing" I smiled encouraging him to believe me. "I promise"

"You sure" he asked raising both eyebrows.

I walked over to my bed and sat down placing both hands on my lap. "Well actually" I paused as he walked and sat bedside me "I've a little homesick lately" I explained as I played with my fingers.

"Well that's reasonable, you haven't been home since we moved out here and that's been a long time" he said as he nodded his head.

He placed his hand over my dancing fingers making them stop and kneeled in from of me like he was begging. "I think you should go visit home for a few days" I looked at him while he continued to talk " Go I can get out of work for a few days, I mean come on I am the boss and I'll take care of Sarah while your away." I looked down lightly shaking my head "I don't know" Then I felt him lift my chin and stare at me. "Amy go" he smiled and I nodded my head. I opened my mouth to tell him what else I've missed but he covered my mouth, not letting me.

"Wait" he pleaded "I want you to answer my question I asked you that day at the hospital. You've had a lot of time to think about it." He explained.

I thought about it. "What question?" I asked. But at that point he took the hand that was holding mine and reached into his pocket. 'OH MY GOD!' I thought. He took out a small black box that would hold something little. Then he carefully he went from both knees to one! 'this can't be happening!' I screamed in my mind. He held out the box and gently opened it. I never knew that my eyes could go so big until now. I quickly pulled my hand away and covered my mouth in shock, awaiting the words that I've been avoiding to hear for the past 5 years.

"Amy Juerens will you marry me?"

**T.B.C**

**Hope you guys liked it. please Review!!!**

**EdwardBella4ever17**


	6. AN

**Hey guys well I'm going to try my best to a new chapter up A.S.A.P. You guys are truly faithful and I would feel horrible to not give you an ending for this story. With that said, stay tune for an Upcoming chapter Titled "Where I once stood".**


	7. Where I Once Stood

**I come in peace! I know I know...I'm horrible. But I really have a lot going on with school,my health, and family. Thankfully I'm getting through it with the help of friends and sisters. Anyways I've working on this chapter for a while and finally I know where this is going. Ok so I know I promised that this story would end up with Ben and Amy but....just like I'm writing Amy, I'm just as confused as she is about Ben and Ricky. So from now on I can't promise pairing. Sorry.**

**Now on to the chapter.**

**Where I Once Stood  
**

'This can't be happening!' my mind screamed as I looked at the picture in front of me: Ricky now on one knee with a beautiful engagement ring on one hand and another holding my own. His eyes pleaded to get an answer.

He wasn't the same boy I meant that day at band camp. He was the father of my child, the one who took care and loved us both unconditional and the man that at some point I had grown to love. But standing in this very moment, my heart wasn't all his. I had to let go of the part that wasn't mine anymore. My life was only my own, it was Sarah's. Everything had to be perfect, for her. Things had to be changed. Enough was enough, I had to stop looking into my past and except this future with Ricky.

I looked into his eyes and held my breath. "Yes" I exhaled with teary eyes. As soon as my words were spoken Ricky smiled and held me in a tight hug. Twirling me around, I could feel his happiness throughout his body as I hugged him back. He placed me down suddenly and placed the ring slowly on my left ring finger, where surprising fit perfectly. He then kissed my hand.

He looked at me with a smile that made me smile back. "Amy you've made the happiest man on this earth" he chuckled.

He hugged me again and continued kissing my hair and whispered "I love you Amy".

"I love you too" I answered by almost immediately, because if it was partly true and he had to know that. I didn't say those words much but each time I said something felt more real.

He held my shoulders and looked at me, questioning. "Tell me why your answer is yes". I pulled him to sit with him.

"Ricky you deserve a part of me that's been hiding for a long time, the part that loves you in the same way you love me. Everything you've done for me and Sarah has been amazing." I cupped his cheek. "I've seen you become the man you are today, your: kind, gentle, patient, loving, and the father of my child." My thumb brushed along his bottom lip, "Because at the end of each day a part of my heart becomes yours. That's why I want to marry you." And I leaned in and kissed him. For the first time in a while I didn't pretend he was someone else. I was kissing Ricky.

I pulled back and Ricky still has his eyes closed, seeming surprised by my response. I giggled. He gently opened his eyes. "Now that was a kiss." We both shared a laugh.

"So it's settled, you'll go visit your parents and Ashley for a bit and I'll take care of Sarah." He said while leaving the room. I laughed while he left but as soon as I knew I was alone. My laughter faded.

I looked down to my ring that was so beautiful and it felt right to have it there. I've been confused for a long time now, but today was different. Today I said yes to a life with Ricky, life that held forever with it. It's true, my heart belonged to another but it's also true that Ricky was taking its place. Maybe not entirely but it was enough to prove that one day my whole heart would belong to Ricky.

* * *

Two suit cases was all it took to get everything ready. Almost a dozen pair of clothes,socks, underwear, and bras. Then there's a small purse inside the suitcase that carries my make-up and things I'll need when I take a shower. I would take things to do my hair with but I'm sure Ashley won't mind me using her things. Ricky got everything together and turned on the car for me.B0efore leaving my room and I walked back to my nightstand and took the letter. Funny how in some odd way my hand had almost a indention of where I carry the letter. I guess that comes from falling asleep with it almost every night. I opened the wrinkled letter for the last time and skimmed the words, hearing the words in my head '_Love you always,Ben'_. I folded back in it's place. Opened my draw and placed it carefully inside, gently closing the draw. I walked out of my room and didn't look back. Saying goodbye to the voice, along with the words it speaks.

Done.

Now came the toughest part. Saying my goodbye to Sarah. Not that I wasn't coming back, but I've never been away from her.

I closed the door to the place I'd known to be home for the past three years. I could hear the kids laugh. But Sarah had a distinctive one, she had her fathers laugh, the kind that can ease your worries no matter how sad you feel. I could at peace forever just hearing that laugh.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Sarah screamed towards me. She jumped as she reached me. I held her tight, brushing her hair away from her forehead. "Hi baby" I smiled just by looking into her eyes. She held a lilttle sadness in her eyes, questioning mine. "Daddy says you go somewhere." It broke my heart not to take her with me.

"Just for a little while princess" Ricky said as he walked towards us. "Yea only a little while sweetie." I assured her. "And if you at any moment miss me so much that you can't take it anymore, just tell your daddy and he'll tell me, then I'll come straight home k?." I explained to her as I placed her down and got down to her eyes level. "M'kay." She answered, clearly hating this goodbye just as much as I was.

I kissed her forward and rosy cheeks before hugging her one last time. "Love you." "Wuv you too mom." She kissed my cheek, I quickly brushed my tears away before she could see . Ricky walked closer and whispered to Sara "Honey why don't you go into the house and after I finish talking to your mom, I'll order some pizza for us." He smiled trying to cheer her up which worked. Anything that involves pizza lets Sarah forget all her sad emotions. Sarah did what she was told. Ricky was always the one to make Sarah smile whenever she was down.

My eyes followed every footstep it for her to get into the house. As I heard the door close, I looked back at Ricky. "Take care of her Ricky." I asked. "You know I will." He responded back and I knew he was right. I had no reason to worry.

"Say hi to the family for me? Okay?" He asked and I nodded. He quickly kissed my lips and hugged me. I buried my head in his neck and breathed in his scent. I pulled back and kissed his cheek. "Bye Ricky." I said as I walked to the car. I open the driver side door and was about to climb in but something told me there was something else I needed to say before leaving. Before getting in I looked toward and said "I love you." and he smiled widely "I love you more." I smiled back And with that I climbed inside and and closed the door. As I drove away, I could see in my rear-view mirror that Ricky was still outside waiting for my car to make a left and the end of our street. Once I felt that no one was watching I carefully pulled out my cell and dialed two and pressed send. I waited.

. "Hello?" I smiled as I heard her voice. She sounded tired.

"Hi mom." was all I said. "Amy? Oh hi honey! Whats going on?"

"Um nothing. Just calling to tell you that uh," "Mom I'm coming home!"

**TBC**

**Hope you like it. R&&&R please.**

**I'll try my best to get the next chapter up soon. But please be patient. :)  
**


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